Key events
And one last email. “Loving the OBO as per usual,” says Rafe Bingham, without a trace of smugness, “from the passenger seat of a road trip in central France. The mention of Carol Vorderman at university piqued my interest, as she is the holder of an unusual record during her time at Cambridge: the rare and unusual 3rd class ‘gentleman’s degree’ in all three terms, notable enough that a 3rd is supposedly known as a ‘Vorderman’ now, much as the 2:2 is called a Desmond after a certain archbishop. Maybe a smidgeon of knowledge that might be of benefit in a pub quiz someday…” A triple third! Magnificent.
One last stat
From the great Rob Smyth. “This is a link to the lowest averages among bowlers with 20+ wickets in a series,” he writes. In the whole of Test history, that is. “Robinson currently third; the two above him were in the 19th century.”
I see Robinson’s series average stands at 6.66, which seems appropriate. And don’t forget he was fit for the last Test before this series – the one New Zealand won at Trent Bridge, the one that ended the Stokes-McCullum era. How different might the summer have been if those two had picked him?
Stumps! Pakistan 46-2
The crowd have vanished and now the umps have called it a day. The forecast for tomorrow is dry with sunny spells, so the chances are that Rob Grey will get to see the final day of the series.
England need eight more wickets to complete a whitewash. Pakistan need 274 just to make England bat again, and at least 474 to give themselves a chance of a consolation victory. Azan Awais and Shan Masood have shown some grit after coming together at 0-2, but the boulder is still close to the bottom of the hill.
As the rain continues to fall, Graeme Thorn is looking on the bright side. “Just as a counter to all the negativity re this series, particularly its timing,” he says, “let’s not forget that the Ashes series in 2005 that is so fondly remembered ended in mid September, exactly 21 years ago.
“I’m sure if Pakistan had put up more of a fight, crowds for this Test would have been larger, particularly given it’s being held in Birmingham.”
“At my local pub quiz,” says Max Williams, “the worst team gets to pick the specialist round for next week – which can be anything from James Bond to cheese to quantum physics. However the answer to that round’s final question is always Aston Villa, the quizmaster being a massive Villa fan.
“He also delights in taking the scenic route to get there. Say that week’s specialist subject is Oasis. An obvious question would be ‘Definitely Maybe was released in 1994. Who won the League Cup that year?’” Obvious indeed.
“Instead we get something like, ‘The original rhythm guitarist of Oasis is known as Bonehead. His real name is Paul – a name he shares with legendary German midfielder Paul Breitner. In 1982, Breitner’s Bayern Munich lost the European Cup final to which West Midlands team?’
“Anyway, reckon Gay has done enough to nail down his place for South Africa? I can’t say I’m too convinced – he played and missed a lot yesterday.” Agreed. “But then I’d bring back Crawley, scapegoated for an Ashes tour where he finished as third highest scorer. So what do I know? (Other than the answer to the 30th question at the pub quiz tonight will be Aston Villa.)
“Incidentally, if any OBOers are based near Streatham, the quiz is at the Leigham Well, a lovely local spot just off the high street. You’ve already got a point in the bag.” Ha.
Rain stops play again!
Mid-13th over: Pakistan 52-2 (Azan Awais 29, Shan Masood 19) Ollie Robinson takes a well-earned rest as Root decides to try Jofra from the other end. His first ball is too full, easily nudged for four by Masood, who follows up with a clip for two to make sure the ball gets nice and damp. “The rain seems to be getting steadier,” says Mark Butcher, and sure enough the covers are back on. That mini-session lasted four balls.
More from Rob Grey (10th over). “Should add,” he says, “I have ticket to day 3.” Aha.
12th over: Pakistan 46-2 (Azan Awais 29, Shan Masood 15) Atkinson bowls the last two balls of his over, studiously blocked by Azan Awais.
They’re back on!
The umpires seem to have been persuaded that it’s OK to carry on, even though drizzle is still falling. Shan Masood tries to make a point by hiding his bat under his sweater.
Rain stops play! Pakistan 46-2
Mid-12th over: Pakistan 46-2 (Azan Awais 29, Shan Masood 15) There’s just time for Gus Atkinson to rue his luck again as a Harrow drive from Awais trickles away for four, and then rain intervenes. It’s gloomy out there, but the England players are hanging around hopefully on the boundary.
The state of the game is clear enough. These two batters have steadied the ship, and Pakistan are still 274 runs behind.
11th over: Pakistan 40-2 (Azan Awais 24, Shan Masood 14) Root tinkers with the field – short leg, leg slip, then back to a cordon of five – and Robinson adjusts his line accordingly. “Amazing skill,” says Eoin Morgan. “Like throwing darts.”
Robinson has 6-3-10-2, his two colleagues 5-0-30-0. Maybe the Pakistanis should play Robinson the way he played them.
10th over: Pakistan 40-2 (Azan Awais 24, Shan Masood 14) Atkinson almost brings that average crashing down as Masood procueds a grandiose waft and Ben Duckett can only tip the ball over the bar. It was a good effort actually, nothing like the two chances Duckett dropped in the first innings.
“So this is test cricket in 2026,” says Rob Grey, “pushed out to September, played in diminishing light, without a real contest and in front of a reduced and barely engaged crowd. Well done all involved.”
That’s one way of looking at it! To be fair to Test cricket – and the British climate – all those things have been true, at times, in high summer. There were plenty of one-sided series back in the day.
9th over: Pakistan 33-2 (Azan Awais 19, Shan Masood 12) As Robinson strays down the leg side, Cox pulls off a top-class take. He’s like those kids you were at school with who seemed to be good at every sport they tried.
8th over: Pakistan 32-2 (Azan Awais 19, Shan Masood 11) Joe Root takes Jofra off, after a rare fruitless spell with the new ball. He wants to give an early go to Gus Atkinson, who hasn’t been the same since being demoted to third seamer – his bowling average in this series is 156. He starts decently but then drops too short to Masood, who cuts for two and a single.
7th over: Pakistan 29-2 (Azan Awais 19, Shan Masood 8) Never mind the wickets – Robinson has also been absurdly economical in this series, going for about 1.9 runs per over. But this over is an exception to the rule, going for seven. The batters take a few singles and Masood, seeing a wide-ish ball, has the presence of mind to cut it for four.
“A few years ago,” says Paul Griffin, “I was in a pub quiz team which tied for first place. The tiebreak question was a very, very niche one about Buzzcocks b-sides. The opponents answered first, incredibly quickly and with absolute certainty. The reason was revealed when it became clear at one of the members of the pub quiz was actually in the Buzzcocks. Incredibly, despite nearly a millennium of inns and hostelries, there is no pub quiz regulator (OffPub? OffTriv?) in the UK.
“No wonder the country is broken.”
6th over: Pakistan 22-2 (Azan Awais 18, Shan Masood 2) Two singles from Archer’s over, and two byes as another delivery jumps up at Masood like an over-excited spaniel.
5th over: Pakistan 18-2 (Azan Awais 17, Shan Masood 1) A maiden from Robinson that includes one ridiculous delivery – a length ball to the left-handed Masood, lifting and leaving him like an off-cutter. Robinson chuckles, unable to believe his luck.
Here’s Tim Stappard, picking up on my teatime snack. “You need Greek honey with Greek yogurt,” he says, with some firmness. Luckily, that’s what I had.
4th over: Pakistan 18-2 (Azan Awais 17, Shan Masood 1) Archer warms to the task, sending a snorter past Awais’s outside edge. Jordan Cox thinks he may have his first catch as the keeper, but Root didn’t hear a nick and HawkEye suggests he’s right. Awais recovers to pull out that elegant cover drive again. Maybe he will make the first hundred of the series?
3rd over: Pakistan 14-2 (Azan Awais 13, Shan Masood 1) You’re not going to believe this, but Ollie Robinson has conceded some runs. A single to each batter as Masood pushes into the covers and Awais shovels to leg.
“Before we were old enough to go to pub quizzes,” says Stephen Brown, “the PTA at my high school used to do quizzes as fundraisers, and our go-to answer for anyone we didn’t know (and we were the kids table at a quiz aimed at adults so this was a lot) was always Carol Vorderman. Not because she was a logical guess, but because the our English teacher who was always the quiz master had dated her at university and it made him more grumpy than usual.
“Who’d be a teacher, hey.”
2nd over: Pakistan 12-2 (Azan Awais 12, Shan Masood 0) Azan Awais is used to this carnage and he’s used to facing Jofra Archer, who had some good duels with him at Lord’s. Awais gets the right part of the scoreboard moving with not one boundary, but three: a cover drive, a clip off the pads and an upper cut.
1st over: Pakistan 0-2 (Azan Awais 0, Shan Masood 0) Robinson beats Masood outside off. What a day he’s having – a fifty earlier, a double-wicket maiden now. And what a series: he now has 21 wickets for 130 at an average of six.
WICKET! Abdullah Shafique c Root b Robinson 0 (Pakistan 0-2)
Oh dear. Robinson produces a little outswing and Joe Root, back at first slip, takes a crisp low catch.
WICKET! Saim Ayub c Brook b Robinson 0 (Pakistan 0-1)
One ball, one wicket, one amazing series for Ollie Robinson. And a pair for poor old Saim Ayub, who can only poke to Harry Brook at second slip.
Back at Edgbaston, the lights are on and Nasser is wearing a waxed jacket. But players are out there and, as Jamie Smith has a sore thumb, Jordan Cox is wearing the wicketkeeping gloves for the first time in a Test match. He’ll be fine – he’s been coached by Sarah Taylor.
Meanwhile, in the County Championship, there’s been a first red-ball fifty for Rocky Flintoff, a big win for Yorkshire and some important news about a dog. Do join our queen of the county scene, Tanya Aldred.
“Not quite pub quiz,” says Pete Salmon, “but when my friends and I used to play the original Trivial Pursuit, we had three options for when you didn’t know the answer to a question. There was the Blue Whale; Karl Marx; or Ken ‘Slasher’ Mackay.
“The first because it tended to be the biggest everything in nature (I still remember its tongue weighs the same as a cow), the second because every quote was him or Jesus, and the third because Richie Benaud would wax lyrical about him, despite 37 Tests, top score 89, average 33, plus 50 wickets at an average of 34. Seemed the best MOR cricketer ever, so was always the answer to obscure sports questions.”
Ha. Something tells me he might not be much use these days. And that’s a great factoid about the blue whale, but does its tongue weigh more than Josh Tongue?
And that will be tea. Or, as this is the Guardian, a bowl of Greek yoghurt with honey.
WICKET! Tongue c Ghori b Ali 15 (England 453 all out)
89th over: England 453 (Archer 32) Tongue, who was hit in the box just now, recovers to dab Mohammad Ali for four. Ali gets his revenge at the end of the over, but England’s lead is still a colossal 320.
And Mike Atherton reminds us that England were 39-3 in this innings. The partnerships since then have been 104, 86, 38, 41, 37 and now 44 – all of them bigger than the biggest stand in Pakistan’s innings, which was 26 by the last pair.
The only bright spark for Pakistan has been Razaullah, who has come from nowhere and bowled with fire and swing and personality. He finishes with the unusual figures of 23-0-148-4: four wickets, no maidens and oodles of promise.
88th over: England 448-9 (Archer 32, Tongue 11) Razaullah is able to continue, but may wish he wasn’t as Archer helps himself to a whip for two and a pull for six. His 32 has come off off only 27 balls, and England have 75 from the past ten overs. Rumours of Bazball’s death may have been exaggerated.
87th over: England 438-9 (Archer 23, Tongue 11) Ali continues, bowling to Tongue, and puts the plug in for five balls, only to concede four to a rather classy square drive. Meanwhile, dwn at fine leg, Razaullah gets a team-mate to give him some stretches and ends up doing a headstand. Oh, to be 21 again.
86th over: England 434-9 (Archer 23, Tongue 7) No, Abbas wasn’t changing ends. It’s still Razaullah, who finds a short ball being cut away with brutal glee by Archer. A few singles lift England to a lead of 300.
85th over: England 426-9 (Archer 17, Tongue 5) Mohammad Abbas has been taken off, possibly to change ends, or possibly because he’s knackered after bowling about 50pc more overs in this series than any Englishman. Mohammad Ali takes over and Archer swings him away for six over deep square. That completes the set for Jofra: he’s the only batter in the series to have hit a six in each of the three Tests. When Ali turns an attempted yorker into a full toss, Tongue off-drives it for four. The new ball has gone for 42 in five overs.
84th over: England 415-9 (Archer 10, Tongue 1) Josh Tongue is waiting for the yorker and clips it adroitly off his toes to get off the mark. Archer dabs for two and then skies a pull, sending it high but not quite far enough to give Razaullah his five-for. Pakistan’s new Action Man has to settle for 21-0-131-4.
WICKET! Robinson c Masood b Razaullah 50 (England 409-9)
Gone! A loose drive gives Shan Masood a simple catch at cover, so Robinson has to settle for a round half-century. And Razaullah has made one more thing happen.
Fifty for Robinson!
83rd over: England 409-8 (Robinson 50, Archer 5) Robinson seems to have rattled the mighty Mohammad Abbas, who produces possibly the first long hop of his career and is duly slapped for four. Robinson adds a single to cruise to 50 off only 46 balls. It’s his second Test fifty and his first in front of a home crowd, and it gets a big hand from the Brummies. When I mentioned a hundred just now, I thought I was joking.
Archer nicks one, but it doesn’t carry, and then there are four leg-byes. Insult to injury.
82nd over: England 400-8 (Robinson 45, Archer 5) Razaullah’s pace and zest, and this three wickets, have earned him a go with the new ball. After mostly tailing in with the old ball, he now produces a lovely outswinger, too good to get a nick out of Jofra. Then he relapses onto the pads and Jofra tucks for two. Razaullah thinks he’s got Robinson LBW, but it’s too high. Still making things happen.
81st over: England 396-8 (Robinson 45, Archer 2) Robinson sees that shiny new cherry and his eyes light up as if he was bowling with it. He goes down the track and belts Abbas’s first ball to midwicket for four. The keeper, Ghazi Ghori, comes up to the stumps to put a stop to that, but Robinson is ready with his retort: a slog for six! And he adds a flick off the hip for two to make 12 off the over. He could be in trouble with the Global Guild of Medium-Pace Masters.
Babar Azam takes the new ball straight away, and hands it to Mohammad Abbas.
80th over: England 384-8 (Robinson 33, Archer 2) Razaullah continues, running in hard, but drifting onto the pads, where even a No 8 can make hay. Robinson plays a clip to midwicket for two, a glance for four and a flick for a single. He’s about a third of the way to the hundred that has eluded every specialist batter in this series.
79th over: England 377-8 (Robinson 26, Archer 2) Saim Ayub continues with his friendly slow stuff, and England’s opening bowlers help themselves to a few singles.
78th over: England 374-8 (Robinson 24, Archer 1) So Razaullah has a magnificent set of figures: 18-0-115-3. A man who makes things happen.
